Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
