I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
