This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
