Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
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