My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Randomize
