i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
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