so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
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