Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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