planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
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