You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
