therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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