mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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