i don't like sucking hair
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
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