these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
