On Saturday, I sharted on my roommates dog while trying to make it smell my farts. Today I got security clearance to work for one of the most respected and secretive govt agencies in the US
It's the American dream
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Randomize
