The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
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