i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
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