Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
