the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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