Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Randomize