You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
