I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize