"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
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