So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I love you.
Bad choice
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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