So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
