Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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