I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
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we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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