....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
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