I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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