so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
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