You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
