yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Randomize
