Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
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