Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
