I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
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