finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
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