No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
