I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
