I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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