What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I don't deserve a penis
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
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