Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
