i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
