Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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