do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
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