i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Randomize
