you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Randomize
