Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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