Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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