after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Randomize
