I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
