Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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