I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
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My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
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We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
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