do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
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