I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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