I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
