i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Randomize
