But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Randomize
