she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
