What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
