babies were throwing up all over the place
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
