New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
